Love Is Like Finding A Perfect Mac & Cheese Recipe
THE DILEMMA | Volume 28
WHAT I’M WATCHING
It’s hard for me to consider myself a fan of Rian Johnson considering he cut Ellie Goulding’s cameo in the Last Jeidi, but I do like everything that he is putting out recently. That includes Poker Face on Peacock. I truly did not foresee myself going to bat for a single TV show on NBC’s streaming platform, let alone two, but here we are. Poker Face follows Charlie Cale, played by Natasha Lyonne, who has been blessed with the ability to immediately tell when someone is lying. While she is on the run from a con gone wrong, she uses her gift to help solve the murders she encounters on the road. It’s a great procedural, with a new murder every week to solve. So far, each episode has stuck to the same formula: you see the murder take place in the first ten minutes of the episode so you know who the culprit is, then the rest of the episode is seeing how Charlie puts the pieces together by calling bullshit whenever anyone lies to her. It’s a new take on the murder-mystery genre by making the mystery how Charlie solves the crime rather than figuring out who the murderer is. Even though we know this crucial bit of information, it’s still entertaining to see how the culprit is caught. It feels very much like Scooby-Doo in a weird but fitting way.
Another thing I like about the show is the cast of odd-ball side characters. This is a starring vehicle for Natasha: she inserts her natural dry, cynical sarcasm into a deeply empathetic do-gooder who wants to help out strangers while on the run. But the fun of the show is wrapped up in the people she meets along the way. My favorite is Marge, played by Hong Chau (she is having a good year and she deserves it!), an anti-social, awkward trucker who has no time for manners but has a heart of gold. She is off-putting and weird, but you root for her because of it. Each episode promises a cast of characters that really colors each town Charlie travels to and adds more intrigue to each crime that she solves. I’m only a few episodes in, but I’m looking forward to seeing who else guest stars and to seeing how else Natasha Lyonne is going to solve these damn murders!
WHAT I’M LISTENING TO
It’s time to be an emo kid again. Paramore dropped their sixth studio album, This Is Why, on Friday and it is everything I wanted and more. I loved their lead single, the titular track, that they released a few months ago, but decided to wait until they released the full album to listen to their other singles. It’s a great callback to old music of theirs, like Riot!, while also focusing on the evolution to a mature sound and fresh perspective on the alt-rock genre. I like the dichotomy between the two halves of the album - the first one has more of their upbeat, grooving songs while the second half delves more into darker rock instrumentals with more vulnerable lyrics. This album also acts as a great reminder that Hayley Williams is one of the greatest vocalists in music right now. The way that she is able to hit certain high notes that I didn’t even know existed and also provide grit and depth in her lower register is something that should be studied in a lab.
“The News” truly hits at the punk-ethos of the album and it’s one of the first songs in recent memory that accurately encapsulates the fuckery going on in the world. I love the scream-y chorus and the head-banging guitar riffs. “Liar” is an unexpected sweet note in the middle of the chaotic internal raging that the album emits. It’s about how love is worth pursuing and she admits that she lied to herself about that to protect herself from being heartbroken again. “Thick Skull” is one of the best finishers of an album I have heard in a long time. The slow, ballad-like start crescendos into a face-melting rock song. I feel that the thesis of this album is in this song: even though the world is hard, it’s worth living if you open yourself up to vulnerability. I like the lyric that encapsulates this, “Thick skull never did nothing for me.”
My favorite of all the songs is “Running Out of Time.” I saw a Tik Tok where Hayley said that it is mainly about how she is always running late to things, but you can also think about it in terms of the clock we are all collectively on to save the planet. I like that interpretation because it really ties together the global nature of the album. Her vocals are insane on it; I love the riff she does in the first chorus. Favorite part has to be: “There was a fire! (Metaphorically) / Be there in five! (Hyperbolically).” Something about the fact that it is poking fun at itself fits nicely in the context of the song. This album invites you to head-bang while reflecting on the disaster state of the world. And I think we need that right now.
WHAT I’M READING
Welcome back to another installment of here’s another reason why I am contemplating delating social media off of my phone. The Cut released an article this week with Tik Tok fashion influencer, Remi Bader, who I had never heard of before reading the article. She became a plus-sized fashion influencer during the pandemic. She recorded “realistic” try-on hauls from companies without inclusive sizing to make funny videos of how they didn’t fit her body while also calling out these brands in a more light-hearted way. Her videos went viral and scored her deals with fashion brands and consultant positions to help make their company’s sizing charts more inclusive. It also sent her to an eating disorder treatment center. The general public thinks that this kind of content - try-on hauls and fashion blogging - welcomes rude comments about how someone looks, but no content creator is every asking for that feedback. More and more I begin to question if women’s bodies can live online. The general consensus is that people are begging to see women’s bodies, but if they’re not adhering to impossible standards, then you are opening yourself up to a plethora of comments and criticism about how to fix the way you look. Why? Did Remi ask? Did any woman ever ask?
The whole premise of the article is that she became a role model in this “body-positive” community, but she never asked to be one. This article is a good example of how dangerous it is to make a hobby, especially one on social media, into a living. Sure, she’s getting incredible opportunities and making bank, but in the end is it worth it all for the vitriol she reads in her comments and the negative impact it has on her health? She makes it clear that Tik Tok didn’t ruin her because she was already struggling before making her content, but that doesn’t mean that the platform didn’t exacerbate her problems even further.
The end of the article is interesting due to its contradicting nature. Remi believes that social media does more good than harm, which is clearly up for debate, but then also says that her mood depends entirely on how well her social media posts do. Is that really healthy to base your feelings on such an unpredictable algorithm? She also questions if she would still have followers if she lost weight. It just feels like insanity to put so much of your self-worth into the hands of the faceless masses of the Internet. I hope Remi continues down a path of healing. More than ever, I hope that the collective Internet gets a job or something so they can use their abundance of time for something else.
WHAT I’M EATING
Mac & cheese is probably the most comforting thing you can eat, and I am saying that as someone who is lactose intolerant. I’ve tried several different mac & cheese recipes in my lifetime as a chef — I do have a very good baked one that I only whip out on special occasions because it involves making a roux. My go-to recipe for mac & cheese is actually a stove-top one from a cookbook my aunt bought me years ago, inspired by the state of Wisconsin. I use it a lot because it’s super easy and the cheese always melts so perfectly and sticks to the noodles like glue.
The cheese mixture involves sour cream, butter, the shredded cheese of your choice, and the secret weapon: mustard. I am a huge mustard girlie, if there is such a thing, and I think that the mustard element adds a surprise little kick to an otherwise boring dish. The recipe calls for Dijon mustard, but I’m a little freak and found a pickle-flavored one from Trader Joe’s that I use instead. I think generally you could use any mustard you have on hand for it — I would like to try a honey mustard at some point, if I could get my hands on one that is actually good.
Something I have been doing recently is adding buffalo tempeh into the dish for a little extra protein and for a more spicy flavor. That recipe is also quite straightforward and I do it in tandem with preparing the noodles. The sauce is just Frank’s hot buffalo sauce, vegetable oil, and a heaping teaspoon of honey. I cut the tempeh into cubes, toss in the sauce, put on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper, place in the oven at 400 degrees for 20 minutes, and voila! You have yourself some toasty buffalo tempeh. It’s a delicious dish and an old reliable recipe in my rotation. It’s best served with some fermented grape juice (wine) to heal your inner child.
WHAT I’M FEELING
I do like Valentine’s Day, despite the fact that I have been single my entire life and have never celebrated the holiday in the traditional sense. I can recognize that deep down underneath my cold exterior, I am a hopeless romantic. My favorite movies are romances, I melt at a good love song, and I have the delusional thought that I am going to meet the love of my life organically in person rather than over a dating app. Sometimes I feel weird about having never been in a relationship, especially when other people talk about the relationships they have had and I have nothing to contribute to the conversation. Sometimes it feels like there might be something wrong with me. I think the truth of the matter is that I like being on my own and the independence that comes with that too much to give it up for just anyone. That might make me extremely picky and stuck-up and completely delusional, but I’d rather put the effort into a relationship if I know without a doubt that the other person is worth it. And I like to think that there’s no rush with these things — if it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t, well. I can always watch 13 Going on 30 again.
For Valentine’s Day, I like to focus on self-love and my love for the friends I have in my life. I think it is imperative to do something with the girls every year, no matter what. This year, we are going to dress up a little bit and go out to a cute Italian restaurant on a Monday night. The literal definition of glamorous. For my act of self-love, I got my nails done yesterday, which was much needed because they were absolutely atrocious to look at. In my opinion, getting your nails done is one of the most luxurious things you can do for yourself; it can make you feel wildly successful and rich for just $30. Valentine’s Day is on a Tuesday, so the vibes are kind of rancid, but I’ll wear pink into the office and have a nice dinner for myself and then go to bed early with a good book. Doesn’t that sound divine?
Happy Valentine’s Day to all my beautiful subscribers. If you’re single, I invite you to treat yourself to a little something special on Tuesday. If you’re in a relationship, well. Good for you.
MEME OF THE WEEK
Is this a meme or just a really awkward photo to show that celebrities are just like us and don’t know what to do in front of a camera? Either way, I feel like there’s a part of my soul in this picture. I found it on Twitter, probably during the Grammys when there were a million different cutaways to Ms. Swift dancing/standing/applauding/dissociating during the broadcast. I do feel like sometimes when people look at me, they see tiny Joey King with a Dora the Explorer-type bob. She is kind of serving though. This is perfect to send when you want people to know you’re having a good time. It’s also a great way to send the group chat into total chaos.
