Jeff Probst Is My Celebrity Crush and I'm Not Ashamed Of It
THE DILEMMA | Volume 8
WHAT I’M WATCHING
SURVIVOR IS BACK BABY! The two-hour premiere for Season 43 of the longest running reality show happened this week, so my dad and I finally have something to talk about again. I have been really enjoying the past few seasons of Survivor since Season 40: Winners at War. It feels like it has some of the old-school energy back because you can tell that the hunger and exhaustion from the smaller portions of food is making people more emotional and volatile, which changes the social game once again. Jeff Probst, one of my longest celebrity crushes (yes, he is 60 and I don’t care), also has been having a different rapport with the players for the past few seasons. Sure, he still loves to roast people during the challenges, but I think he is more excited to have people still wanting to participate in his show after twenty years.
The first ten minutes of the premiere seemed really Survivor-praise heavy, but once they got to the first challenge, it was an lively first episode. I love everyone on the blue tribe, which is a bit of rarity. Usually there’s at least one person who can’t pass the vibe check, but they all seem like genuine people to root for and they have great group chemistry. Another element that’s been slowly sprinkled in the last few seasons of Survivor is that we get more of everyone’s backstory. It’s nice to have that additional emotional layer mixed in. If I had to pick a favorite player, it would probably be Karla; I like that she’s already playing the middle from the get-go and putting herself at the center of the tribe.
I am getting bad vibes from that one guy on the red tribe, Cody (which is truly not a name meant for a grown adult). Even though he had a genius play in the first reward challenge, something about his frenzied personality doesn’t sit well with me. That, and the fact that he has LIVIN!! tattooed on his ass. I’m not a huge fan of the yellow tribe, but specifically the older guy, Gabler, is bringing the whole team down. I think it’s just his lack of social awareness, which could be attributed to the age gap between him and his teammate, but he was making me cringe hard during the episode. Despite the fact that he messed up the immunity challenge for his team, he stayed and Morriah left for no reason, even after making an all-girls alliance (love that that one girl, Elie, started the idea for that alliance and then immediately turned on it). I liked Morriah, despite her speech about how everyone is a winner even though they had a massive challenge loss, but I am secretly glad that I don’t have to look at her rainbow jumpsuit all season.
I won’t write about every episode of Survivor in this newsletter, but probably around finale time I’ll use this space to wrap up my thoughts about the season. So far, I do like pretty much everyone and I’m excited to see what twists and turns come out of the season.
WHAT I’M LISTENING TO
I’m seeing Michelle Branch at the Troubadour in LA next week, so I decided to dive into her recently released album, The Trouble With Fever, this week. I’m a huge fan of hers, but I am specifically obsessed with her debut album, The Spirit Room, which celebrated it’s 10th anniversary last year. It has bangers you probably are familiar with, like Everywhere and All You Wanted, and is a really solid work of art for a first album. Branch disappeared off the face of the earth for the better part of a decade, which kind of killed the momentum that she had with her early success. She returned with an album called Hopeless Romantic in 2017, which I didn’t love because the rock was just not rocking for me. The Trouble With Fever is another try at a rock album and it’s more aligned with my taste this time around.
She wrote the album entirely by herself, which makes it feel more intimate and vulnerable. My personal favorites include “You Got Me Where You Want Me,” “Not My Lover,” and “Fever Forever,” but the whole album is so sonically cohesive that everything blends very well together and it’s a great album to be enjoyed all together. It feels like she’s returned to her roots a little bit because the production feels very 2000s, like the same vibe as Kelly Clarkson’s “Since U Been Gone.” She produced the album with her husband, Patrick Carney from the Black Keys, and it seems like his strongest influence came through on the lead single, “I’m A Man,” with the hardcore guitar riffs. Everything else is more laidback and gives it kind of a perfect alt-rock feeling. I am really excited to hear it live.
WHAT I’M READING
After unpacking my thoughts about health trends in the newsletter last week, I thought I would pick up Ellie Goulding’s book, Fitter Calmer Stronger, again this week. I ordered a signed copy (if you didn’t know already, you will soon find out that I am Ellie Goulding’s biggest fan) last year and initially just used it for the recipes that she had in the back of her book. I’ve been slowly making my way through it since then. I re-visited the third chapter called “Calm Your Mind” because I feel like that’s the one thing I have been failing to do lately. She talks a lot about distracting yourself with noise, which I am extremely guilty of. I find myself struggling to go ten minutes without having some kind of noise in the background, either from a TV show, a podcast, a Youtube video, etc. It’s suddenly become impossible for me to enjoy a quiet moment.
To combat the noise, Goulding emphasizes the importance of making mental space for self-reflection and silence. She truly ascribes to the philosophy that time alone should be enjoyed, not dreaded. You should be able to indulge in a couple hours of quiet time and not feel the pressure to be around others or to have the noise in the background to distract yourself from the much needed mental space. It’s only going to cause more chaos in the mind. I agree with her: the greatest gift I’ve found in my twenties is that I do like my own company a lot of the time and I do find great comfort in doing things by myself. It’s been very rejuvenating for me to have that time alone and not feel self-conscious about it. Sure, I have moments of FOMO like everyone else, but when I think about it, often times there’s nothing I would rather be doing than spending time with myself.
It was reassuring to hear her spout this philosophy because I think in world so connected by the internet, it’s hard to truly be disconnected and to have time alone. I think in the long term it will have really good effects on my mental health and well-being.
WHAT I’M EATING
This week was kind of a wash for me because most nights I came home feeling burnt out from work and only in the mood to cook the quickest thing to get some food in my belly. However, on Saturday I got out of the house to go to a screening of A Star Is Born (2018) at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery. They encourage you to bring your own food and drinks, so I made one of my go-to summer dishes since the season is now ended. The Lemony Asparagus Orzo recipe from the New York Times is such a light and fresh pasta recipe. I’ve had friends who are not fans of asparagus try this and even they can’t deny how good it is.
I have changed a few things in the way that I make it. I don’t use a half cup of herbs because that just seems excessive — I usually just sprinkle about a fourth of a cup of parsley into the dish. Then, I mix in a third of a cup of parmesan cheese because I like it a little more cheesy. I encourage you to use the juice from a lemon rather than a store-bought bottle of lemon juice because you will get the best results for that lemony taste. I have used the portions for small group dinners and it’s been a hit each time. I don’t think I’ll make it that much more in the fall, but once the next summer season comes around, you bet your ass this will be a mainstay in my cooking rotation.
WHAT I’M FEELING
In LA, driving can be, at best, a chore and, at worst, something that ruins your entire week. They are not kidding about amount of traffic and reckless driving that you see on a daily basis. This sucks for me because, growing up in suburban Maryland, one of my favorite things to do was go for a silly little drive somewhere on the back roads of my hometown. Just spending thirty minutes driving aimlessly to get out of the house or driving around town to run errands was such a fun and relaxing way to spend my time. I got to play whatever music I wanted at whatever volume I saw fit and I got to have good alone time while doing something productive. I don’t really get that feeling in LA, so it’s been an adjustment of how I think about driving.
In 2019, I found a “back road” in LA that comes somewhat close to recreating the feeling I had when I would drive in my hometown. It’s not a practical drive in any way: it usually results in spending two hours in the car just to run one or two errands that I could absolutely accomplish in a place closer to my apartment. But for me, it’s worth it because it’s such a relaxing drive with amazing views and very little traffic. There’s a section of Sepulveda past Wilshire that leads up to Van Nuys that people seldom use because the 405 highway is adjacent to it and ultimately much faster. You get to drive past the Getty and you get to see the slopes of the valley up close in part of the drive. Then, you go through a tunnel and on the other side is a neighborhood with an amazing view of LA and the valley. The view alone is so revitalizing to me. In the peak of the pandemic, I would leave my apartment in South LA like once a month to make this drive, which ultimately ate up a lot of gas and was not at all a rational thing to do while unemployed. But it was a perfect way to get out of the house and run a silly little errand and chase the feeling that I would have listening to my music on the back roads of Annapolis. In a weird way, it was an extremely healing thing for me to do in a time of such uncertainty.
I bring this up because I did the drive this morning. It was not at all convenient and, once again, took a full two hours to complete, but it was a lovely way to spend my Sunday morning. In Van Nuys, there’s a Costco where I get cheaper gas and then a little ways down the road there’s an automatic car wash for like $10, so I got to feel productive running my little errands. Even though it’s not a practical drive and I rarely do it any more, I think it was a good reminder to indulge myself in the things that I like to do.
MEME OF THE WEEK
Like I said, I’ve been struggling with what to cook for dinner this past week. I found this meme off of Twitter and it was extremely fitting for my predicament. Why not just enjoy a Diet Coke, which is probably the most disgusting soda of all-time, as the end of a long day? I especially enjoy the line “You will certainly not regret drinking a Diet Coke.” Something about it is threatening, like they are trying to indoctrinate you into a cult.
Note: this meme is not official medical or nutritional advice.
